A SWV Review: Episode 2

Again, by Sarah B.

For this review, I shall use the force to creatively fit my review into an acronym of “Star Wars”. Okay, it is quite embarrassing to witness my gradual evolution into a full-fledged Star Wars Nerd. Wait… I much prefer Nerdess.

S Sidious, Darth Sidious aka Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Okay, am I the only one who knows what the heck is going on here? He obviously swings both ways my friends. I mean they make it sooo obvious that he plays both characters that I get confused. You could see this from Episode 1! But when I brought it up, Chad mentioned that he had no idea … so I think I must be smarter than the average mammal.

T Totally frickin’ awesome. That is all I have to say about Yoda’s kick-ass fight scene. Who knew the old guy had it in him?

A Anakin is annoyingly cocky. How can anyone stand him? *Exasperated Sigh* He is hardly the “greatest Jedi knight”. You just KNOW he is going to become an evil genius. Duh, it is so obvious. I mean, what kind of person kills women & children aliens! Even if they are ‘just’ aliens! OMG, am I being alienacist?

R Republican Clone Army – scary. Clones are scary. Scary clones.

W Whatsa hecksa is Jar Jar Binks saysing? Mees has nosa ideas. Mees hasda putsa closda capstoning on justsa understandsa himsa.

A Amidala. What a hoe. I mean I like her and all because she totally kicks butt and has major girl power. BUT – is she blind? Anakin is totally bad for you, girlfriend! Lose the loser, sista’. Oh yeah - the love scenes between these two were extremely awkward and embarrassing. Totally elementary school. Not cool.

R Revenge. There is revenge oozing out from every corner of this film. And not the superfluous, diluted kinda ooze. It is viscous and slow, it builds up, slowly & carefully overtime – and when it does release, it will explode!

S Shmi, poor Shmi. She was a slave and finally gets married and has a happy life, only to get kidnapped and die. What bad luck. Hey! At least she will never know that she will become the root of Anakin’s deeply seeded psychological problems that will eventually lead him into darkness. That’s cool, right?