Sarah-isms

I once won a bratwurst eating contest and noone can ever take that away from me.

Fine. If you want to make the treadmill session into a race – it’s on. However, I am always surprised when an old flabby man thinks he can beat me treadmill-style.

I won the school cookbook naming contest when I was 14. Eating with Eaton. I was a marketing genius even then.

I used to have a thing with a certain soya sauce that shall remain nameless. I do not have such a thing anymore.

I might have turned the 5 second rule into a 30 second rule on more than one occasion.

There is nothing wrong with being able to eat more crab than two grown men put together, followed by a large Starbucks blended frappucino.

I think having to make an appointment to “register” for wedding gifts is a ridiculous notion. Apparently driving 300 consumers to your store to purchase items from your store doesn’t warrant increasing your stock of scanning guns.

I think men who wear too much Axe are gross. Most girls I know think Axe smells disgusting, therefore having an opposite reaction to the much desired Axe-effect.

There is no point to picking up dog poop in winter. The snowshovel man takes it away anyway.

Yes, it’s cold here. It’s really cold. We know. Yes, we’re used to it. Yep. Glad we got that straightened out.