ChickenGATE Part Deux

BEHOLD the multiplication!  Sent to me by a reader no less!  Do you think perhaps 'they' saw the last entry and decided to take grossing-out the unsuspecting residents of Saskatoon to a new level?  I guess that's for you to decide...  All I can stress is to take a second look at your chicken wing tonite, you know, for cigarette butts and garbage debris. 

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ChickenGATE

'Sarah' the investigative reporter here, or at least rookie investigative reporter.  Today's undercover journey took me to one of the deepest darkest places that I have been in a long time: a stinky red dumpster in a back alley.  What I saw will shock and astonish you, so please proceed with caution.

You see, today was "cleaning" day at work - sounds like a typical annual routine indeed - however, as a result of this yearly ritual... I discovered a most grotesque and alarming site.  This exact moment happened on approximately my 6th visit to said dumpster.  I was taking yet another load of old berry branches and brochures out to the trash when a most interesting gray container caught my eye.  The detective in me couldn't resist examining the contents of the gray anomaly.  This is where I saw it, a batch of frozen chicken wings sitting in the gray rubber box...sounds innocent enough I know, until you realize where the wings were located - all alone in the great outdoors on the filthy, wet ground.  Not to mention the wings were mere steps from the busy backdoor walkway of a well-known restaurant beside a towering red dumpster complete with greasy chef smoking directly overtop and today's raindrops bouncing from the metal waste bucket onto the meat.  Not only did one gray container of wings appear, another 2 loads joined the party as the day progressed (I can only assume today's special was WINGS).  Were the wings there to thaw or cool down?  I guess I will never know.  What I do know is that this particular reporter will NEVER order another order of 1/2 chicken salad or baked pasta from there ever again (not even in desperation or starvation as I have been doing for months now). 

The picture really says it all - observe:

I know by now you are dying to know what restaurant.  For those of you who know me, you will know.  For those of you who live in this city, you can probably guess.  For those of you who don't, just ignore this blog.  If anything, I hope this inspires my readers to rethink their 25 cent wing night.  

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Blended Weiners

Alright. Somebody please explain this to me. Imagine ...

You have just broken your jaw in a car accident. You are facing 8-10 weeks of liquified dinners with your mouth wired shut. Your doctor recommends that you make sure you are getting plenty of nutrients, lots of calories and protein to help your bones heal and prevent you from losing too much weight. Then he gives you a cookbook. The cookbook has recipes such as:

VEGETABLES
1/2 cup mashed potato + 1/4 cup gravy + 1/2 cup milk

Ok. This is a gravy milkshake. I realize there are some extra calories in the gravy. But, potatoes?? Ummm, don't tell the Irish this one, but, you can't live on potatoes. You'll end up with scurvy or ricketts or something. Moving on, we have dinner suggestions ...

Yum.
Weiners with baked beans thinned with V-8 juice.

I wouldn't be caught dead eating this. Let alone blending it and drinking it. Blended weiners. The ultimate in revolting.

Fruit Drink
1 banana or 1 portion canned fruit
Lettuce - 1 large leaf
2/3 cup fruit juice - grapefruit, orange or pineapple

Ok. This one sounds alright. I actually tried it and it tastes pretty good. I recommend fresh squeezed juice. But, somebody, please explain the lettuce leaf? Please?

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Nestle, Please don't take my Cinnamon Kit Kat away ...

Until now, I really haven't given much thought to the limited release chocolate bars that are absolutely everywhere. But, I have developed an addiction and that addiciton is the Cinnamon Kit Kat. I have always been a Kit Kat fan and I thought with the introduction of the Kit Kat Chunky, there was no way Nestle could make it better. But, they have ... behold ...

It is heaven. I love the combination. This chocolate bar has inspired me to add cinnamon to anything and everything that I make with chocolate.

It's been available for a few months now, just long enough to get me completely hooked. Nestle please, please, PLEASE don't take my Kit Kat away! I am not sure what limited edition means exactly, or how long it will be available. I know it has its' naysayers, but, I am starting my campaign here and now to make the Cinnamon Kit Kat a staple! Please, even if you've never tried it or, if you (*gasp*) don't like it, write Nestle and ask them to keep this product on the shelves.

Thanks! I need all the help I can get.

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Spaniards Love Jamón!

On a recent trip to Seville to study flamenco, I discovered an unexpected fact about Spaniards. They adore jamón (pronounced ha-MOAN). Perhaps it's not all Spaniards, but in Andalucia it's a way of life.

When you say it out loud, it must be spoken very proudly and seriously with a deep throaty voice and sharp accent on the 'MOAN'. It's even better if you imagine yourself to be Antonio Banderas when you say it and shake your head slightly from left-right while maintaining eye contact with whomever you are speaking to. I am not kidding ... jamón is serious business. Jamón!

You can get jamón everywhere! It is served proudly in every tapas bar ... on a baguette, on strangely pale, thick and stale pretzels or all on it's own. You find legs of it hanging behind every bar. They even have dedicated jamón shops intermingled in the busiest shopping district. In some cases there were a few jamón shops in one block. Legs and legs of jamón just hanging there begging to be purchased.

Jamón definitely has an elevated status in Spain. You should be aware ... it's not meat ... it's jamón. It is so important, in fact, it comes served on top of everything. For example, you order a sandwich ... the sandwich is described as grilled chicken, cheese, lettuce, tomato. There is no mention of jamón. Jamón is implied. And, it comes on top of the sandwich attached delicately with a cocktail toothpick. Jamón is implied in every recipe. You may ask "does this dish have meat?" and receive the reply "No. No meat." But, don't be surprised if it comes with jamón. In fact, anticipate that it WILL come with jamón and if it doesn't come with jamón, you should be disappointed.

One last word of advice, do not insult the jamón. It is a great source of pride for Spaniards. They love it and may even be obsessed with it. To insult jamón is to insult the Spanish way of life. Long live jamón!

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