A Practical Visitor's Guide to Saskatoon

I love this... I just came across it whilst googling bareass beach!

(source: Anonymous)

1.First you must learn to pronounce the city's name. It is Sask-A-tune, not
"S'toon", and it DOES NOT matter how people who are not from here pronounce
it.

2. Saskatoon has its own version of traffic rules. Never forget that
downtown Saskatoon is composed in large part of three or four block
streets. The only way to get out of the center of town is to turn around
and start over when you reach the river.

3. All directions start with, "Go down Circle Drive ."

4. Circle Drive has no beginning and no end, although it does not actually
circle the entire city, either.

5. Exit and entry ramps on Circle Drive are just the recommended way of
entering and exiting Feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish.

6. The 8:00 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m. The 5:00 PM rush hour
is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, this is a dead giveaway that you
are a tourist.

8. Idylwyld can only be pronounced by a native Saskatonian , so do not
attempt the phonetic pronunciation. People will tilt their heads to the
right and stare at you.

9. Bingo, Bugs and Baseball are here to stay. DEAL WITH IT.

10. Construction on Saskatoon streets in summer is a way of life and a
permanent form of entertainment. Kind of like the weather.

11. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close
down all lanes except one during rush hour.

12. Many bizarre sights can be explained simply by uttering the phrase,
"Oh, we're in Sutherland".

13. We have a zoo. Well, it's not really a zoo. We just like to call it
a zoo.

14. We also have a nude beach that we call "Bareass Beach". No one really
knows where this is but everyone has heard of it so assume it is an urban
myth and does not really exist (except in the minds of Saskatonians).

15. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it was probably left on
at the factory where the car was made.

16. Buying a Saskatoon street map is a waste of money since the
termination or continuation of any street is entirely at the discretion
of the Works Department of the City. Our Works Department also has a fondness
for changing street names at mid-way points (typical instruction that a
northbound tourist may receive: "just head outta town on that road that used
to be Warman Road")

17. Asking directions will help you get acquainted with the residents. It
will not be any help at all for finding the address you seek.

18. Never honk your horn at another car in traffic. The bumper sticker
that reads,"Keep honking, I'm reloading." is considered a fair warning.

Comments (1)

Stuck in Mississauga

Dear friends, I hope you all say a special prayer for me tonight. Apparently there has been some sort of horrendous blizzard and wicked temperature drop in Saskatoon while I have been away this week. Also apparently, Air Canada failed to inform me of said blizzard before I arrived at the airport 2 hours before my flight (and to think I even missed hearing Jean Chrétien speak at the closing session because of it). So rudely was I directed to find the “white phones” to phone Air Canada to reschedule when I was right in front of a real live Air Canada person… what happened to the days when people helped people and “white phones” weren’t the only solution? To tell you the truth, the voice on the end of the white phone wasn’t a solution at all. In fact, it was only after I hung up that I read the flight boards and figured out how to get to Saskatoon 12 hours earlier tomorrow than the voice predicted.

Kudos to the senior citizen who helped me find a room in jam-packed Mississauga at the last minute. So here I am in Mississauga, which I can’t even spell and MS office keeps redlining when I attempt to do so. The $79.99 hotel room is actually very nice and not reminiscent at all of Lisa and Sarah’s Winnipeg HOJO experience of 2005. But what to do after day number who-knows in a hotel room, with no other humans to speak to.. I need humans. I am human-less and it sucks. What to do with no humans? Well, as much work as you possibly can to get your mind off the fact your only current friend is a laptop. Once that’s done, blog away with your rants and raves, and msn to those friends kind enough to chat (dang.. colin just told me storm is moving to Winnipeg now… that was my escape route). I also wandered down to the lovely buffet and had some pecan pie and chicken (not at the same time of course). I am now having a small chuckle to myself after being reminded of the “Blogs & Technology” session I sat in at the conference today, where our presenter didn’t even know what myspace was (or how to put typepad on an internal server). I think perhaps if he is allowed to pose as a blog expert, I could easily be the blogmaster. Oh wait, I am :-) (*sigh* another rush of Toronto-bound planes flies overhead, this is worse than the Northstar building) If I’m lucky, I will dream lovely dreams of iphones dancing in my head tonight. Paul, if you already have an iphone - i hate you. Or maybe I will dream of the lovely sushi-ing that Riona, Colin and I had on Monday night at Japango in Toronto....mmmm soft shell crabby roll things.

Okay.. back to the praying… operation: higher power that be, get Sarah home..

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What the heck is Junkanoo?

It's Christmas in the Bahamas! And, it's amazing! It can be compared to a Mardi Gras or Carnival parade and it's totally unique to the Bahamas (which I now like to call the 'Hamas for short ... even though the locals do not). They hold the street festival twice per year, December 26th and January 1st.

The parade consists of several different junkanoo groups that compete for cash prizes and dates back to the days of slavery. Each junkanoo group is made up of a number of "rushers". Each rusher wears a costume, some of which more resemble floats, that he/she must be able to power on his/her own. Only recently did officials change the rules to allow the use of wheels on a float. Motors are not allowed. Each group is judged as a whole and prizes are awarded after the second parade on January 1st.

The costumes are so extravagent. I have never seen anything like it before. They are made mostly of crepe paper, feathers and sequins. Oh yeah, and alot of Christmas balls. I can't even come close to describing how intricate these costumes are. They are breathtaking when a group of 2500 come marching down the road dancing to a giant marching band.

Check out this rusher ... there is a man in there, I swear!

Christmas in the Bahamas is awesome! The people are so friendly (with the exception of the other tourists) and they love to celebrate! I highly recommend it. Not to mention, it's a helluva lot warmer than Canada!

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Spaniards Love Jamón!

On a recent trip to Seville to study flamenco, I discovered an unexpected fact about Spaniards. They adore jamón (pronounced ha-MOAN). Perhaps it's not all Spaniards, but in Andalucia it's a way of life.

When you say it out loud, it must be spoken very proudly and seriously with a deep throaty voice and sharp accent on the 'MOAN'. It's even better if you imagine yourself to be Antonio Banderas when you say it and shake your head slightly from left-right while maintaining eye contact with whomever you are speaking to. I am not kidding ... jamón is serious business. Jamón!

You can get jamón everywhere! It is served proudly in every tapas bar ... on a baguette, on strangely pale, thick and stale pretzels or all on it's own. You find legs of it hanging behind every bar. They even have dedicated jamón shops intermingled in the busiest shopping district. In some cases there were a few jamón shops in one block. Legs and legs of jamón just hanging there begging to be purchased.

Jamón definitely has an elevated status in Spain. You should be aware ... it's not meat ... it's jamón. It is so important, in fact, it comes served on top of everything. For example, you order a sandwich ... the sandwich is described as grilled chicken, cheese, lettuce, tomato. There is no mention of jamón. Jamón is implied. And, it comes on top of the sandwich attached delicately with a cocktail toothpick. Jamón is implied in every recipe. You may ask "does this dish have meat?" and receive the reply "No. No meat." But, don't be surprised if it comes with jamón. In fact, anticipate that it WILL come with jamón and if it doesn't come with jamón, you should be disappointed.

One last word of advice, do not insult the jamón. It is a great source of pride for Spaniards. They love it and may even be obsessed with it. To insult jamón is to insult the Spanish way of life. Long live jamón!

Comments (1)

RoadTrip 2006!!

I'll come back and post a photo or something later, but figured you'd wanna see what Ben and I got up to in 13 days on the road, about 9000km, and a whole lotta boxes of wine.

RoadTrip 2006!

286 photos to give you a vague idea where the next year of stories and in-jokes are coming from.

Time for a PMBM, muthafah....

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